It was an tense moment that ended in tragedy when Lord king of the seas and longboat extraordinaire Leif Erickson crossed paths with a Mr. Jack Cunningham one cloudy day in May.
"What sort of witch's fabric do you have wrapped on your feet which permits the water to bead off like the feathers of a sea-bird?" Erickson trumpeted at the sight of Mr. Cunningham's boots.
"Why, these are the new rubber boot my mother gave me for my birthday a fortnight's past!" Cunningham sheepishly responded.
"I've bedded ten thousand women and crushed the skulls of ten thousand men under the weight of my viking weaponry. Yet I've never seen such wrapping that would keep so much of the water off my feet. Tell me now where a mother could acquire such an item for her pasty skinned whelp?"
"Why. I believe she bought them at Sears sir."
"SEARS!" The anger in Leif Erickson's voice could be felt across the valley like rolling thunder. "I know not of a merchant named Sears. Your nonsense fills my viking heart with rage. We'll see how well this magic fabric repels liquid as your blood flows across them after I slice you in two!"
It took Leif Erickson no more than a single swing of his viking longsword to claim his new treasure. Oddly enough, Mr Cunningham let loose not a single drop of blood.
Poor Mr. Cunningham!