Notes

Age Of Empires 2: Tool

I had a dream last night I was at a college party and I told someone that I thought the first 90 seconds of the new Tool album would fit in great on the soundtrack of a remastered Age of Empires 2. That person, without saying a word, then walked up to me and slapped me across the face.

Cooking with Marcel Marceau

Last night I had a dream that I found an old breakfast cookbook by Marcel Marceau, but it was all just variations of just cooking a single egg topped with red wine.

Fast Food Time Machine

If I were ever given access to a time machine I'm sure I'd do something stupid like go back to the early 80s to affirm my belief that the fast-food was better. Or go try the original blue ribbon winning Pabst to see what it was really all about.

Why Adorama? Why?

A new low in the musiuse of caling 120 film 120mm film; Adorama has labelled 4x5 sheet film as 120mm.

Stop Sign

I was going to judge that guy for blowing through a stop sign, but then I realized since he was going to wrong way on a one-way, he didn't actually have a stop sign facing him, so I guess it's cool?

Jack Dawson Was From Wisconsin

The first time I saw Titanic was in a movie theater in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Something I'll never forget how loud the entire theater cheered and applauded every time Jack mentioned he was from Wisconsin.

Game of Thrones Finale

Part of me kind of wants the Game of Thrones finale to be laugh out loud Dexter levels of bad if it isn't absolutely amazing. Ends with Daenerys moving to a new forested continent and growing out a beard to live a secret life as a lumberjack or something.

THAT'S A BABY!!!

One of the most vivid college memories that I haven't lost yet is the time a guy showed up late and really high for a critique and ended up mistaking a baby in a woman's art for a bowl of potatoes.

PBR Art Cans

I think my new favorite annual tradition is watching people in the Pabst Blue Ribbon facebook group get confused and angry over the annual art cans.

Photography Hate Groups

A recurring feature in my life: Make some funny satire content about photography. Get invited to a secret "funny" group about photography. Group is about 5% good satire, and 95% shitting all over beginning photographers who have the audacity to share their work online.

23 & Metal

I logged into 23 & Me and it immediately asked for my blood type, and if I liked Heavy Metal music. \m/

TIL

Today I learned that Pentax is the official digital camera of the Internet.

Ruth Gader Binsburg

I woke up this morning thinking that Ruth Bader Ginsburg's name was Ruth Gader Binsburg, and was confused as to why she didn't have a good alligator nickname.

Water Jelly

I couldn't think of the word for "slush" this morning so my mind landed on "Water Jelly"

20/20 in 2020

My early 2020 election prediction: Anyone who enters running with any play of "20/20 vision in 2020" as a slogan will not make it past the primaries.

Headphone Recognition

Some people can just walk around all day blasting music out of their cell phones. Meanwhile, the greatest everyday dread in my entire existence comes from the chance my headphones weren't identified by my device when I hit play on my music.

#SEOktoberfest

I just saw someone wearing a hoodie that had #SEOktoberfest on it and am really upset because there is no way my brain can figure out how to make those two terms a phonetically proper portmanteau.

We're Not Gonna Take It

This morning I was woken up by a roughly five year boy outside passionately singing Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It"

Halloween Voting

This is it. This is the year I'm finally going to do it.

This is the Halloween, where if any kid comes to my door and says "Trick or Treat", I'm just going to turn my back to them for a moment. Then turn back around and flash them a long-finger illusion and say "Tada!"

Then, as they cowered away in sadness feeling robbed of candy I'll stare straight into their soul and say "Think about the words you just said. You have nothing to blame for the results here today except for your own ambivalence about the choices, and your own hubris to think that those who hold the candy bowls are going to act in your interests. If you wanted a treat, you should have just said 'Treat.' Now go vote on November 6th."

Clown Bathroom

I had a dream last night that I was visiting somewhere in the Southern US. I opened up a local entertainment guide and learned that the biggest local music act for the area was named "Clown Bathroom"