Notes

Photography Hate Groups

A recurring feature in my life: Make some funny satire content about photography. Get invited to a secret "funny" group about photography. Group is about 5% good satire, and 95% shitting all over beginning photographers who have the audacity to share their work online.

23 & Metal

I logged into 23 & Me and it immediately asked for my blood type, and if I liked Heavy Metal music. \m/

TIL

Today I learned that Pentax is the official digital camera of the Internet.

Ruth Gader Binsburg

I woke up this morning thinking that Ruth Bader Ginsburg's name was Ruth Gader Binsburg, and was confused as to why she didn't have a good alligator nickname.

Water Jelly

I couldn't think of the word for "slush" this morning so my mind landed on "Water Jelly"

20/20 in 2020

My early 2020 election prediction: Anyone who enters running with any play of "20/20 vision in 2020" as a slogan will not make it past the primaries.

Headphone Recognition

Some people can just walk around all day blasting music out of their cell phones. Meanwhile, the greatest everyday dread in my entire existence comes from the chance my headphones weren't identified by my device when I hit play on my music.

#SEOktoberfest

I just saw someone wearing a hoodie that had #SEOktoberfest on it and am really upset because there is no way my brain can figure out how to make those two terms a phonetically proper portmanteau.

We're Not Gonna Take It

This morning I was woken up by a roughly five year boy outside passionately singing Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It"

Halloween Voting

This is it. This is the year I'm finally going to do it.

This is the Halloween, where if any kid comes to my door and says "Trick or Treat", I'm just going to turn my back to them for a moment. Then turn back around and flash them a long-finger illusion and say "Tada!"

Then, as they cowered away in sadness feeling robbed of candy I'll stare straight into their soul and say "Think about the words you just said. You have nothing to blame for the results here today except for your own ambivalence about the choices, and your own hubris to think that those who hold the candy bowls are going to act in your interests. If you wanted a treat, you should have just said 'Treat.' Now go vote on November 6th."

Clown Bathroom

I had a dream last night that I was visiting somewhere in the Southern US. I opened up a local entertainment guide and learned that the biggest local music act for the area was named "Clown Bathroom"

T-1000: Wine Mom

I had a dream last night that I was watching that scene in Terminator 2 where the T-1000 is preparing dinner for John Connor. Except in this version, once John figures out the scheme and doesn't show up, instead of knife-arming the dude drinking milk, the T-1000 gets emotionally unstable, starts bawling, pours a giant glass of wine and slams it while the Guns & Roses version of Live and Let Die plays.

MNtendo

I had a dream last night where I started some form of Nintendo community for only Minnesotans called MNtendo.

Last Check

Today I finally used my last check that has the address of the place that I lived at in 2009 on it.

T-1000's Younger Brother

I appreciate that if you are trying to remember who the lead singer of the band Filter is, Google makes sure to let you know that he is the T-1000's younger brother first and foremost.

Sex Porno

Whoever landed on my latest video by using the search term sex porno is going to have a bad time.

Fresh Portra vs Expired Portra

I found some sheets of 4x5 Portra 400 that had been unrefrigerated in a film holder since 2011. I Made the same exposure on it and on a fresh sheet. Here is the difference.

Drum Scanning Time Lapse

Here is a short time-lapse video of a drum scan I made last night.

Face of Chaos

For I have seen the face of chaos as I was at the Mesaba/Central Entrance intersection when the construction crew changed all the lights to blinking red. #dlh

Don't

"Nice Guy" & "Great Artist" Two things you should never self proclaim about yourself.