I was going to judge that guy for blowing through a stop sign, but then I realized since he was going to wrong way on a one-way, he didn't actually have a stop sign facing him, so I guess it's cool?
The first time I saw Titanic was in a movie theater in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Something I'll never forget how loud the entire theater cheered and applauded every time Jack mentioned he was from Wisconsin.
Part of me kind of wants the Game of Thrones finale to be laugh out loud Dexter levels of bad if it isn't absolutely amazing. Ends with Daenerys moving to a new forested continent and growing out a beard to live a secret life as a lumberjack or something.
One of the most vivid college memories that I haven't lost yet is the time a guy showed up late and really high for a critique and ended up mistaking a baby in a woman's art for a bowl of potatoes.
I think my new favorite annual tradition is watching people in the Pabst Blue Ribbon facebook group get confused and angry over the annual art cans.
A recurring feature in my life: Make some funny satire content about photography. Get invited to a secret "funny" group about photography. Group is about 5% good satire, and 95% shitting all over beginning photographers who have the audacity to share their work online.
I logged into 23 & Me and it immediately asked for my blood type, and if I liked Heavy Metal music. \m/
I woke up this morning thinking that Ruth Bader Ginsburg's name was Ruth Gader Binsburg, and was confused as to why she didn't have a good alligator nickname.
I couldn't think of the word for "slush" this morning so my mind landed on "Water Jelly"
My early 2020 election prediction: Anyone who enters running with any play of "20/20 vision in 2020" as a slogan will not make it past the primaries.
Some people can just walk around all day blasting music out of their cell phones. Meanwhile, the greatest everyday dread in my entire existence comes from the chance my headphones weren't identified by my device when I hit play on my music.
This morning I was woken up by a roughly five year boy outside passionately singing Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It"
This is it. This is the year I'm finally going to do it.
This is the Halloween, where if any kid comes to my door and says "Trick or Treat", I'm just going to turn my back to them for a moment. Then turn back around and flash them a long-finger illusion and say "Tada!"
Then, as they cowered away in sadness feeling robbed of candy I'll stare straight into their soul and say "Think about the words you just said. You have nothing to blame for the results here today except for your own ambivalence about the choices, and your own hubris to think that those who hold the candy bowls are going to act in your interests. If you wanted a treat, you should have just said 'Treat.' Now go vote on November 6th."
I had a dream last night that I was visiting somewhere in the Southern US. I opened up a local entertainment guide and learned that the biggest local music act for the area was named "Clown Bathroom"
I had a dream last night that I was watching that scene in Terminator 2 where the T-1000 is preparing dinner for John Connor. Except in this version, once John figures out the scheme and doesn't show up, instead of knife-arming the dude drinking milk, the T-1000 gets emotionally unstable, starts bawling, pours a giant glass of wine and slams it while the Guns & Roses version of Live and Let Die plays.
I had a dream last night where I started some form of Nintendo community for only Minnesotans called MNtendo.
Today I finally used my last check that has the address of the place that I lived at in 2009 on it.
I appreciate that if you are trying to remember who the lead singer of the band Filter is, Google makes sure to let you know that he is the T-1000's younger brother first and foremost.