College Girl (overheard): "I literally died,..."
Internal Dialog: "OMG. No you didn't. You're right there and very much alive."
CG (Continuing): "I mean, I haven't died in over a month."
ID: "What? Do kids these days keep tabs on how long they go between being embarrassed? Is this some D&D talk? WHAT IS HAPPENING I FEEL OLD AND CONFUSED."
CG (Holding Hair): "I think I'll dye it brown next time."
ID: "I hate words."