How many people did you sacrifice to get the sun back today? I contributed five. #Eclipse
Hot Tip: Source control is amazing, as long as you remember to push your changes to the remote repository before your hard drive dies, #lfmf
Making my niblings watch The Good Son so they can connect with Pallisade Head tomorrow when I take them there.
Life Hack: Your laundry dries faster when you remember to start the dryer.
Why won't this water boil!
*Range temp is set to "melt"*
Anyone else get irrationally angry when they search for "Fine Art Photography" and just get engagment and wedding photos in the results?
How long until bride and grooms expect photographers to bid over who will pay the most to photograph their wedding?
::sets phone down:: "That's just not nice. A donkey punch is not a nice thing." #overheard #DLH
"I want to see how many time you can wipe your butt." #overheard #dlh
"It had to have been warm out the night you pierced that ball sack." #overheard #dlh